I am very happy right now. My 2 middle girls have started being sexually active… NO!!! That is not why I am happy, lol. I am happy because after they told me about 2 weeks ago I have been worried sick. And now I finally have a second “official” confirmation… that neither Dani or Nikki are pregnant!! And also that neither of them have any STD’s!!
::: Happy Dance :::::
I knew I was worried but I guess I was much more worried then I allowed myself to realize. And as much as I wish I didn’t have to… both of the girls…are now on birth control as well. I know many parents out there think that putting a young girl on birth control is the same as giving them permission to run out and have sex with anyone and everyone. I disagree. I don’t think that is the message at all. I feel as if I am saying… “Ok, so I know you are going to have sex even if I tell you not to, and even if I ground you and limit your movements. I know that if you are that determined to have sex you will find a way whether I give you the tools to be safe or not.”
Therefore… being real with myself…and about children today…I have chosen to take the route of trying to keep them safe and being sure they’re educated about sex. That seems like a much better option then stomping my foot and forbidding them to have sex before the age of 50… and doing NOTHING to really educate them or prevent another teenage pregnancy (fearing that if I do I am quietly condoning their behavior)…and then finally sitting on my couch months from now stunned into silence when they tell me they are pregnant…or worse…and saying… “But …but….I told you not to!”
Kid’s for centuries have been going behind their parents backs and doing what they shouldn’t. That behavior has just gotten louder and bolder in the last 20 years. And I think that parents today who do nothing but shake a finger at their child and say “Don’t do that.” are failing their children and lying to themselves. We can’t stand around anymore believing that they will do what we tell them 100% of the time. I think if we get 50/50…we’re doing pretty good, lol With my kids I am at about a 75/25. 75% of the time they do listen and follow the rules. But that 25% is the time I am worried about. that 25 could mean AIDS, a grandchild, drugs, ditching school, Alcohol…or God only knows what else. So I am trying to do what I can to lower that 25%. I really believe that this move will nudge that percent in my favor. And on the off chance it doesn’t… I can still go to sleep comfortably each night knowing I tried…and that I have done the best I possibly can for my children.
I have told them that I DO NOT condone them to go out and have sex….this IS NOT a green light to run out and sleep with whoever. Actually I think I have also told them they aren’t allowed to till they are 50, lol. But I am not stupid enough to believe that they are going to listen all of the time. And I know that birth control won’t save them from the std’s … but … I just couldn’t consider myself a responsible parent if I allowed them, on top of everything else they have to deal with, to be at risk for becoming pregnant at such young ages. I know neither of them are ready to deal with that…and it is something I can help them to avoid…even if for only a short time.
So anyways… I am happy…and proud of my choice to protect my girls to the best of my ability.
Tammy I wanted to ask u somrthing but didnt want to say it in front of the girls. I would like to get them some condoms. Now that u have protected them from getting pregant I would like to give them protection from std. I wont do it til u say its ok. love mom
Yeah mom, That would be ok with me. I have accepted that they are probably going to go have sex against my wishes…so I want to help them be protected
Oh man, Tammy that is scary. I am so glad they are healthy, and I pray that they really think before they do anything else. It really scares me how young girls nowadays are sexually active. I was nowhere near ready at 13, even 15.
I agree Karen. I wasn’t either. Kid’s today seem to be doing everything younger and younger.