When I have bad days like today the biggest struggle for me is not being able to focus on anything for longer then 10 secs at a time. It makes me feel out of control of my own body and mind. Sometimes I get very lucky though and it passes quickly within a few hours. Other times I have to find something that will grab my focus and slow down my mind. More often then not that “thing” is music. Music is a wonderful thing. I can put on my headphones and just forget the rest of the world even exists. I literally let the music carry me into a more relaxed state. It helps me to set life aside for a small time so I can get a grip again.
I currently have just over 2600 songs in my iTunes library. My music likes are so varied and contrasting that the kids often laugh at me. One moment I am drifting to Beethoven, Chopin or Mozart… a few minutes later I am dancing to Country, Pop, Techo, Hiphop and the Oldies and then just as quick I have Metalica, Pink Floyd, Motley Crue & ACDC rocking my chair. I honestly think that anyone…with any tastes…could walk into my house and find at least 50 songs in my library that they love, lol.
I am so grateful for music. I am not completely back to myself yet. But I am feeling better after some zoning with my headphones on. A bit more composed and focused. I hope some sleep will find me feeling almost like myself in the morning.