Why is it so difficult for my husband to have some tact when dealing with the kids and their issues? I just don’t understand him or his thought processes. He makes me so unbelievably angry with what he says to them; I can only imagine the level of anger that they themselves must dealing with. Instead of making his arguments valid he uses the “forbid” card, threatens them and gives ultimatums. He undermines all the work I have made with the kids… each time he pulls a power trip on them. Weeks of gaining their trust and getting them to lower their defensive guards are flush in seconds once he starts yelling and threatening them.
Last night Ashley came back from going out. She was hanging out up at Gala and ran into Caleb and his family… who were bowling their league. She ended up talking with Tammi for quite some time about her and Caleb. Ashley really wants to give it a second try. She wants to be sure …for her sake and her daughter’s sake…before she walks away from him forever. Now I don’t like it much either but I have to respect it. It’s not my life. It’s not my choice.
During all of this talk Ashley mentioned if they do get back together, having Caleb, spend the night here occasionally after the baby is born. I don’t like this either…at all. And Ashley knows how I feel. I don’t trust them. I don’t trust Caleb. But I wasn’t going to fight with her over it now. It’s a moot point dependent on many other things and it makes no logic sense to argue about it now. Besides she is 18 and for the sake of my granddaughter..IF Caleb was really trying I think I could meet him half way. But again…it’s too early to know what’s going to happen so why worry about it or fight over it now??
Rick on the other hand flipped out and started yelling at Ashley about it. “He will NOT be sleeping here. Period!” He was being a Brut for no reason. He played the “Forbidden” card…which was stupid and is sure to make her go do the one thing we’d rather she not do. He threatened her and tossed out several ultimatums and “If you do, I will…[ insert stupidity here ]” comments. Then when she argued back he pulled me into the argument demanding I “side” with him. And when I didn’t immediately jump up and start yelling at Ashley as well he took his aggression and anger out on me and started yelling about how I always side with the kids and I never support him.
Of course Ashley told him not to pull me into it. It wasn’t my fight. And then when he wasn’t winning he ran off to bed. Essentially starting a huge fight to run away leaving it hanging in the middle. I didn’t want the fight to happen in the first place for medical reasons. Ashley is 29 weeks pregnant. She doesn’t need her blood pressure to fly up. Just yesterday she was telling me she’s starting to lose her muscus plug. Now most likely it’s no big deal but surely fighting and stress won’t help the situation.
And of course like most problems or situations in this house. I am now angry at his response. I am angry that even after I asked him twice to chill and not start arguing with her right now for medical reasons… he kept on going…telling me several times how he didn’t care. I am angry that HE started a fight and then when he was losing he dragged me into it. I am angry that when he dragged me into it and I didn’t respond the way he wanted then he started fighting with me and pushing off his aggression on me. It kinda reminded me of a temper tantrum that one of the kids might throw.
So in the end now… as far as he’s concerned I am the bad guy and everything is my fault… fan-fucking-tastic. I love sitting here minding my own business and having him blame shit HE does… on me. Wonderful!!