Today my daughter Nikki did it again. She asked to go bike riding with her friend Amanda around our houses. I told her not to cross the main road and that she didn’t have permission to be stopping off at anyone else’s house. I told her to be back by 2pm to check in. In the meantime I had to run up to the library and the video store. I called the house at 2pm expecting Nikki to pick up the phone. She wasn’t there. I kept trying while finishing my errands. Finally at 3pm I managed to track her down.
That’s when I found out:
1. She claimed to not have a time to check in. (Which never happens. I am very strict in most ways. I am on top of my kids a lot. They ALWAYS have a time to check in.)She came home, saw no one was here and left. The rules are to stay home and call me if they get here and I am not here. That hardly ever happens. I am currently a SAHM and I am almost always home, or the kids are with me.
2. She went to a house I specifically told her not to go to…which was accorss the main road.
3. She lied to me twice about going to this house.
4. The boy who lives there claims that they were going to have sex. He told this to one of my other daughters. He wasn’t disrespectful enough to say that to me. He and I have talked. He is too old for my daughter. He is 18 and I have told him if I find that he’s touched her sexually I will presh charges. And my husband will probably kick his ass too.
This sort of thing happens EACH time I let Nikki off of grounding. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve had her hospitalized, she’s on medication, I quit my job and we took a major income cut here at home so I could be here 24/7 to keep an eye on all of my kids…her especially. 90% of the time she goes No where without family supervision. … And I am calling her doctor tomorrow to get her in for a female check up and to be placed on birth control. I can’t handle having a pregnant 14 yr old.
When I asked her why she did this.. why she broke the rules… AGAIN. (Of course this was after she stopped lying.) She said, “Amanda wanted to go there. I was only there for like 2 seconds” I asked her if I told her not to go there at all and she said, “Yes”
She doesn’t accept responsibility for her own behaviors or actions. She always blames someone else. She also expects that once the conversation is over with… it’s erased and we are all gonna move on. Case in point 10 minutes after finishing this discussion her older sister, Dani, asked to go out for an hour and Nikki said, “Can I go over to Amanda’s??” When I told her no she said, “Why? What did I do?” and “That’s not fair!”
Any ideas?? I have tried everything and I can’t seem to get her to follow a few simple rules.