I was having a conversation today and during that conversation something came up that reminded me of an important fact. That fact was that almost my entire family reads my blog. Family from all sides even. I try very hard not to let that information censor me. Mostly because this is the only place I have to truly speak my mind and get it all out. It’s the only place for my irrational emotions. The only place I have to rant…rave… or complain about something I wouldn’t normally complain about… at least not to a person… the cat maybe… the wall maybe… and even the coffeepot… but never to a person, lol.
This has caused me some stress in the past. I used to battle over whether or not to start my blog over.. somewhere else and remain anonymous. But I love that my family and friends can also read all the good things going on in our lives. They can come here for pictures and updates on the kid’s lives. And for those reasons… I remain here.
I don’t have many secrets really so writing about my life here hasn’t normally been an issue. While I am sure there times where I might say some things my family doesn’t understand or even disagrees about…I think we have a mutual respect going on. And I am sure there have been times I might have hurt someone’s feelings. It’s not intentional and I try not to do it even unintentionally. But this is a form of my therapy after all. A method used to help me keep perspective in my everyday life. Anything risky to write about probably falls into my irrational, emotional, ranting type entries, lol Which thankfully aren’t a constant around here. Almost all of the family I have spoken to, when my blog has come up.. understands that they shouldn’t take what I say here to heart…at least not the majority of my ranting, lol. I ramble a lot. And this is a great tool for me to use so that I make sense and sound somewhat intelligent when I speak to real people, lol. This is my sounding board. My only safe outlet for my emotions. And if they can’t handle what I write.. I respect that… but I have asked that they respect me by solving their own problem themselves and not reading what I write.
But again… writing here hasn’t ever really been a problem. I don’t want to give you all the wrong impression. I haven’t had family members breaking down the door with stakes and torches. And I don’t think it’s become a problem now either… it’s just…well… recently with Ashley and the pregnancy…While talking through my emotions about her situation I forgot that… well…family reads here… and Ashley hadn’t finished telling some of the extended family about her situation when I blogged about it. That revelation makes me feel a bit guilty. Mostly because it wasn’t my news to tell. Thankfully Ashley isn’t upset about it. But even so it was a gentle reminder to me. And next time I might be a bit more… censored with that sort of information. At least until the rightful party has had a chance to share in their own time.
Don’t worry I’m not mad at all. I knew in time that they would find out. So now that they know its up them to either be happy for me or not…be apart of my childs life or not. If things dont work out with caleb and his family and if the other side of my family doesnt approve and doesnt want to be apart of ours lives I know that your always there if I need you and you wont leave or gudge me. Love you!
Ash